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Olive dating is ARRSE's dating site, with a huge database of general and uniform fans. Good, simple to use, excellent feedback where I've found someone to admit it! Find your soul made / get laid.
Poetry, Squaddie Style.
"Stella"
By Ken Burrows, 16/5th Lancers, 6th Armd Div, 8th Army.
first met her in Cairo,
I fancied her on sight,
But she gave me a glassy stare,
When my lips met hers that night.
To me she was so beautiful,
Tall with a golden tan,
And her effervescent sparkle,
Would please 'most any man.
She was so cool and tempting,
Her dress was paper thin,
And as I madly tore it off,
I knew that I would win.
I held her tightly in that bar,
I was hot, my throat was dry,
I took her without a struggle,
There was no protesting cry.
I took her back to share with friends,
She passed from man to man,
She was drained of all she had to give,
As only soldiers can.
Now, as I lay upon my bed,
I wish that she was here,
But I've only the empty bottle,
That was filled with Stella beer.
Ken Burrows. Desert Rat.
3000 Free Beers - League Table
Annoyingy the bloody RAF are still at the top of Towergate's give-away:
Major Units -
1. RAF Wittering
2. 33 Engr Regt
3. 3 Rifles
4. 2 Lancs
5. RAF Benson
6. 32 Engr Regt
7. 11 RSigs
8. HMS Ark Royal
9. 45 Cdo RM
10. 1 Rifles
Minor Unit -
1. HMS Lancaster
2. 20 Bde HQ (& 200 Signal Sqn)
3. 102 Lg Bde HQ (& 262 Signal Sqn)
4. Nijmegen Company
5. 160 (Wales) Bde HQ
PLEASE VOTE - Serving Reular? If so please vote - the RAF be allowed to win!
Benghazi Bandit
Ally Kit - Multicam
Keeping you up to date with the latest if kit, the ARRSEPedia brings you Multicam (thanks to Paoli and Rabid Hams):
Suddenly it’s all about Multicam. Everywhere you look there is another post, another article, another rant: are the Americans getting it, are we getting it, why we should, why we shouldn’t....
more...
Members - Did you Know?
You can get an instant view of posts since your last visit by following the new posts link on the top right of the forums.
Yes, you have been lucky enough to get the ARRSE newsletter,
Welcome to the September newsletter. Looking back over the last month we became a media source again, this time showing support for Sir Richard Dannatt. "A quick glance at the Army Rumour Service’s website should be enough to convince ministers that they should stop playing Iago to Dannatt’s Othello, because the public will side with the honest General and his concern for his troops." (The Spectator).
Obviously ARRSE is a rich source of quotes for the media, with many highly qualified, 'insider' and authoritative voices, yet the Times decided to quote..... from a cast of 10s of thousands.... Duffdike, clearly labelled with a "cock but harmless" mudguard, who may or may not have done 6 months in the AGC 20 years ago and is, most definitely, full of it.
Clearly grateful for the backing of 'our lads' General Dannatt has since become the proud owner of one of Gundolph's ARRSE challenge coins.
Holidays for Heroes
Those who have contributed in one way or another to the Holidays for Heroes fund might like to hear a bit of anonymous feedback "Many thanks for a wonderful week. The apartment was fantastic. We left it to the same high standard as when we arrived. The resort was great and the pools lovely. All we really wanted to do was relax and have some family time so this break was ideal.
...It may not sound like we achieved much but the key thing was spending some family time together after recent events..
Having been on the receiving end, this really is a worth while charity...Please keep up the good work....".
August saw £10,800 donated and £11,400 has been spent on both Holidays and Welfare cases. Mostly this came from two significant private donations, auctioning of the ARRSE Challenge coins, social functions and the begging bowl.
Social News
The London/Plinth Crawl not only raised almost £1000, but it also inspired three other crawls and a massive on-line punch up (always the sign of success!). The spat can be seen from here onwards (warning popcorn and a spare hour required!).
Over the Bank Holiday weekend the Kernow Crawl raised somewhere round £450, and was very successful considering that a number of Arrsers spent three days in the same house without killing each other!
Launched at short notice back in London, a number of Arrsers attended the EastEnders Charity Cricket Match, which has/is producing some amazing Auction items including a Bling watch, a signed England Rugby Shirt and an EastEnders sign Post.
Offer from My Protein.
Exclusive ARRSE promotion code MP108568 gives you 5% off your first order of MyProtein.co.uk® supplements. MyProtein will add to that an MP sports bottle for just 79p (Good CO can vouch for good service from MP and an excellent informative website as he is currently recovering his slowly fading Infantryman's physique with MP's whey protein. It makes him fart less than his old one too).
Private Forums - Do you want one?
Most don't know that hidden behind the scenes are various private forums on ARRSE and Rum Ration. One of the most popular is 3RTR with one of the longest running threads even on ARRSE (3RTR - ARMOURED FARMERS OOOOHHHAAARRRRRRRRR!! - 26000 posts!). If you are part of a group with a lot of ARRSE Users - sports / regimental etc, and think a private forum would be useful and well used, drop us a line.
(Advanced) Top Tip - ARRSEpedia Turorial
Anyone can contribute to the huge and ever growing ARRSEPedia, but it can be a bit tricky to work it out. Fortunately the wiki gurus have created a tutorial to help you, so share your knowledge - anything from "mess tins through the ages" to "gyroscopic technology in soviet satellites".
RSM? That can’t be the acronym we think it is?
Our gallant and competent Defence Minister, a Herr A Hitler…sorry, Bob Ainsworth (it’s the moustache), wasn’t the subject of some ridicule this month when in an interview with the Daily Mirror, Mr Ainsworth claimed that in another life he’d liked to have been a RSM. Cruel wags have suggested that possibly the bold Bob's understanding of the acronym RSM differs from the one the majority of Arrsers ascribe to him. Rather than Regimental Sergeant Major, it actually stands for Really S**t Minister; but on a re-reading of his comments, he really did think he could reach a WO1 appointment!
Blast from the Past (2006) - Celebrity Bezzers
As with some of the best threads, the premise was simple enough: At the time, Celebrity shows were all over the TV (thank goodness that times have changed eh?) so shortfuse took it one step further. What would happen if you had a group of British celebs and slung them into a NAAFI environment to take part in a reality TV style competition?
This short but perfectly formed thread from 2006 ended up answering that very serious issue. Worth reading especially for Jeremy Paxman leading a pissed-up NAAFI charge and David Attenborough doing CP for the Pope.
Old and Bold - Benghazi Bandit
Following on from last month's post from Swordman, here's a snippet from another of the ARRSE Old and Bold; Benghazi Bandit (see left).
"I served with the Queens Bays and I had been trained as a tank gun fitter.
In May 1947 a Brigadier by the name of 'de Winton' was assassinated by a certain Maria Pasquineli from Split on the Dalmation Coast, who was not happy about the division of Trieste. The funeral took place in the British Military Cemetary in Udine, the Queens Bays were to fire a gun salute from their Comet tanks.
As Regimental Gun Fitter I was ordered to the service in case of problems.
I was with a REME corporal who did not take kindly to a new boy in his territory and was rather snotty about it. Although a few years previously it had been in order to whap shells all over Italy it was not the done thing in 1947, and though we had stacks of 77mm AP we had no blanks for funerals. The REME Cpl. decided (against my better judgement) that we'd make some out of the AP.
We first removed the detonator from the shell base.
We gripped the nose of the projectile in the vice, waggled it about until it
came out.
We removed about half of the cordite sticks and packed the open end with cleaning waste then tapped the end slightly closed.
We went to Udine, a piper played 'The Flowers of the Forest' then the order came to fire.
A muffled crack and a wad of flaming smoking waste followed by ignited sticks of fizzing cordite filled the sky above Udine. Standard Fireworks could not have done better, the Ities thought Christmas had come early and applauded with shouts of "Viva".
The REME Cpl. got a king sized bollocking and it made my day."
Most popular topics of the last 30 days
Measured by number of posts in that period, excluding the NAAFI bar.
| Word Association Game |
| Int Corps Posts: 896 |
| How can PTSD be portrayed in games? And, should it? |
| The Intelligence Cell Posts: 214 |
| Parent - Advice and Chat in here |
| Joining Up (Regular) Posts: 202 |
| 'Barron' Castleshort part IV |
| The Intelligence Cell Posts: 201 |
| Alex Salmond - Independence referendum |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 152 |
| How Labour plotted to smear daughter of new army chief.... |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 132 |
| 1st Weekend |
| Just TA Posts: 119 |
| Argentina legalises drug use. |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 113 |
| AP- photo of Mortally Wounded Marine Shows Reality of War |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 101 |
| The War We Can't Win - Andrew Bacevich (COL, USA, Retired) |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 100 |
The Newsletter Team
This fine newsletter was written and put together by Sixty, Jarrod 48, Gremlin, Good CO and of course those quoted who didn't know anything about it until now. A big thank you to Benghazi Bandit for the poem Stella and his tale above.
That's All Folks
Finally we'd like to wish all those on ops our best wishes.
