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From the ARRSE Jokes
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice,
the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong,' and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
submitted by LazyCaretaker
ARRSEPedia extract
So who are Ze Germans?
They come from a country that only became a nation in 1870/71 (about the same time as Italy). Till then, they were a bunch of warring Principalities. Took the Prussians to pull 'em into line. Once Prince Otto von Bismarck finished with them, they were the biggest, meanest cats on the block in Europe.
Our natural allies. Very good at fighting and make a lot of cars. Ze Germans are on the outside cultured, urbane, very organised, have cold iron discipline, crap hair cuts and weird, weird specs. Watching a German dance (especially a red-headed one) is like watching the geek kid at schoool disco get down to "Come On Eileen" in 1986. They are found wearing leather trousers, gobbing noodles, sausages and drinking oil.......
After the very positive feedback from the first installment we bring you Newsletter II, the sequel.
Holidays for Heroes / Help them Out
We'd like to use this newsletter to draw your attention to the informal but elite ARRSE charities and good causes team, and particularly their Holidays for Heroes and Help them Out projects.
In brief:
- Monies in £24,400 (ish)
- Monies out £24,400 (ish)
- Holidays booked and paid to date = 29 families
- Holidays waiting for funding = Too many to count
- Welfare cases to date = 37
Sincere thanks to ALL the team: MDN for the lead, Spanish_Dave for having an ear on the ground and continually blagging us properties and time. Meridian for constant IT grown up stuff, Blue_sophist for bear stuff, Blueygirl for ongoing behind the scenes pushing, begging and pleading and also for having a very firm bottom.
More Charity Work
The ARRSE charity forum has really taken off and in June alone we have had more charity efforts discussed and promoted on there that can be well described in this newsletter. If you want to get involved what about joining .dolly for the ARRSE London 10k Combat Stress team, and for a must-see / must-support charity effort what about Phil Packer's efforts to raise a million?
New Sponsor - Towergate
The main news from the site admin is that we have a new sponsor to help keep the ship afloat, Towergate Wilsons, the military insurance specialists. They offer a wide variety of financial products but of particular interest to anyone in the military are the competitive deals they offer on kit insurance, personal accident cover and car (including BFG) insurance. Welcome aboard Towergate.
ARRSE Functions
Did you know that you can change ARRSE to a work-friendly white with fewer graphics, no rude signatures etc? Just visit your account options or for a temporary change you can use the small coloured blocks at the bottom left of any page.
Blast from the Past
Impressive.... ARRSE Helped This Happen. (from 2006) Not entirely intellectual...... Cake or Death
Next ARRSE Social
The next ARRSE social is gettng closer: August bank holiday in the South West.
Who uses ARRSE?
Want to know who uses ARRSE? the recent user stats threads might interest you: age, rank & current status
Most popular topics of the last 7 days
Measured by number of posts in that period, excluding the NAAFI bar.
| Word Association Game |
| Int Corps Posts: 941 |
| BRITAIN ‘HAS AT LEAST 85 SHARIA LAW COURTS’ |
| The Intelligence Cell Posts: 224 |
| Mornington Crescent |
| The Intelligence Cell Posts: 177 |
| Germany says it has a right to a homeland ......in Poland |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 160 |
| toxic officer warning |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 132 |
| Queen institutes Elizabeth Cross for KIAs. |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 121 |
| It's all about the Prime Minister |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 119 |
| Having another STAB at it. |
| Just TA Posts: 117 |
| Paras without planes: RAF running out of Hercules |
| The Intelligence Cell Posts: 116 |
| £1bn overspend on the new carriers |
| Current Affairs, News and Analysis Posts: 113 |
Most active user of the last 7 days
| Mr_Deputy 157 posts |
| para_medic 141 posts |
| Biscuits_AB 133 posts |
| tattybadger 130 posts |
| whitecity 128 posts |
| Whet 123 posts |
| msr 122 posts |
| jarrod248 112 posts |
| chocolate_frog 109 posts |
| BuggerAll 104 posts |
Top tip....
Use the watch list feature to keep up to date with threads that interest you.
That's All Folks
Finally we'd like to wish those at home a good weekend, but more importantly for those on/going on ops, look after yourselves and post some good phots on ARRSE when you get back safely.